im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
