There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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