I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
