butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
