i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize