So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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