East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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