all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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