there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
