I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
