Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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