At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
