come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize