Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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