guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
