She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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