Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
