He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
