Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
