I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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