Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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