someone threw a dead crab at me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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