Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
