You work out of a Hotel?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
