youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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