Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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