I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
