I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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