At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can text with my tongue
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize