Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
