Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
