K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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