hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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