Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
