Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i think i just lost a toe
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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