Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Someone came in the potted fern
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
