I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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