Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
