You're my little dorito
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
