He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
