Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
