your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
