they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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