you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
