Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize