yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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