Where did you get a picture of my penis
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
