Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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