WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
