Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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