No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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