I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
