shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize