I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
