Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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