SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
