those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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