Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You are the jesus of drinking
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
