Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
