it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize