Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he puts the penis in happiness.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
