YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
